Recently I was asked the question-"What are your favorite parts about homeschooling?" by a new homeschool parent I met through an online forum. I thought my answer really reflected not only why we started homeschooling but also why we continue to homeschool. I thought it would make a great first post for my new blog. So here is my answer to that question!
I can tell you what my favorites are but first you need a bit of background. My kids were both in Public School. My son went up through the 5th grade. Midway through that year we pulled him out. He has tourettes' spectrum disorder. The kids can be cruel and I taught him strategies for that, but what I hadn't anticipated was the indifference of the "teachers" and other staff. They blatantly allowed (and sometimes contributed to) behavior that ended up damaging my son's self-esteem beyond repair- or so I thought-. There were also other issues with the school systems. They didn't follow his IEP plan which states the accommodations they are supposed to by law provide him with which only set him up for failure. They also began teaching things I didn't agree with. Such as sex-ed without my signed consent by filing it under "Health" or how about the time that a teacher had a fellow friend who was also a teacher in a televised talent contest. My son's teacher showed the clip of that teachers group to the student and encouraged them to text in their votes for that teacher. Upon questioning my son I realized she didn't show the other group's clips to the kids for them to compare her with to make their own decision on who to vote for- so I felt that was an abuse of her authority status. And BTW what were they doing watching and discussing that??? Where was the educational value? The school also had what they call "Silent Lunch". This is what happens when the teachers lessons are interrupted by some child's behavior and the entire class is punished. At lunch you sit at the table with no talking or socializing at all. If you don't follow that you are given detention. Now, imagine how hard that is for my son who has the tourettes ADHD, OCD, ect. Again- setting him up for failure. But I personally felt it was unfair to all the children. Anyways- I have a ton of PS Horror stories which is why I chose to homeschool him. With my daughter it was because she WAS the behavior problem. She was a major distraction to the other kids (climbing on and under tables, encouraging them to misbehave ect) She kept her teacher, who was very patient and kind, in tears. Her teacher flat out told me the only thing my daughter was getting out of school WAS the socialization and since I was an active volunteer in her class I knew it was true! Also, since we were already homeschooling my son at that point it was easier to do both as we would have to rush home from whatever activity we were doing to be there when she got off the bus. So that is why we homeschool her. Now on to my favorite parts of homeschooling.
It is different for each of my children but lets start with the Socialization. When it comes to my son there has been a ton of improvement! He used to be so angry all the time- exploding at the slightest infraction. Now he has gotten that temper under control and is so much more relaxed! HS has taken away a lot of the mental stress PS put on him- which means less stress for me too :) His self-esteem issues are fading away. He has become more confident through socializing with other HS kids. I have found that HS kids REALLY ARE nicer than PS kids. HS has allowed him to lead certain group activities as well which adds to his confidence. And if there ever is an incident with another HS kid- there moms are right there! He has way more friends and opportunities now than he ever did in PS. And when I see the other PS kids at outside events ect. I can't believe the difference in the way they behave- they curse, disrespect ect. I am glad my son doesn't have to act that way to fit in! Now as for my darling daughter, I can now monitor the way she interacts with her friends which allows me to guide her in making and maintaining good friendships. She is still my social butterfly but here's the difference. In PS she was exposed to what I call the "mean-girl syndrome" that is the belief that to be popular you must be hateful to other "non-popular" kids. Now, she will play with anyone and in fact even invites the shyer less-confident children to join in. I love the changes I am seeing there as I was "unpopular" as a child. Speeking of which- I'm more confident now as well! Homeschooling has allowed me to make and maintain friendships with other HS moms! As adults it can be hard to make new friends I think. You get caught up in running your household and can be limited on opportunities. This has opened a lot of doors for me.
Now lets take a sec to talk about the change in family dynamics. My children and I are closer than we have ever been since they were toddlers. PS caused a major seperation for us of course. We would barely see each other during the week as they went to school, came home and did homework, had dinner, had their own private time to destress and maybe even a sports practice ect. to attend and then it was bedtime to get enough sleep to catch the bus at 6:30 AM. Not much time to interact. When we had the chance to have discussions they went something like this-- What did you do at school today? Nothing. Nothing, really? Well what did you learn about? Something about Japan but I don't remember what. Oh, weren't you paying attention? Yeah, but it was soooo boring- Hey guess what Timmy did at lunch, he hit another kid in the face with a brownie hahaha. And that was about the whole conversation. Well now we have long talks about all kinds of things and they are MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS!!! This means he can actually have a discussion with other adults as well. The moms of some of the PS kids we know always comment on how mature and intelligent and well behaved he is and I have to laugh inside. No he's not- but he is acting his age. And- the kids aren't embarassed to be seen with me anymore! That's a plus. In addition I'm more than just Mom now- I'm also their friend and confidante and I LOVE that! We should all be our kids' best friend.
Moving on to the Academics. --- My kids do not "love to learn" like other children I know. But knowing this, I'm ok with it. Homeschooling allows us the opportunity to find what works for our kids. Now they don't come back with-I cant remember- they can tell you all sorts of things. The secret to it is that I am sneaky. If I want them to learn something I don't have to just read from the textbook- they will lose interest in 5 seconds. But- they will watch a movie with me or take a trip to a museum, or learn how to make an origami bird etc. Tailoring my methods and curriculum to their preferred mode of learning has enabled them to retain the information. It also does spark interest sometimes and that is when they get excited about learning and can't put the materials down. Some days they beg me to read "just one more chapter" LOL.
Finally homeschooling has been great for our family spiritually. Before we started homeschooling discussions about God normally only occurred after church on Sundays. Using some great Christian homeschool materials has allowed us to learn so much more and provides opportunities for discussion on these things. It has been wonderful to see my children grow in Christ. They are developing their Character traits as they are developing their academic abilities. How awesome is that! That is not an experience you can get at PS. The schools teach evolution- well, so do I. Before you are shocked let me explain. I teach it along with creation. I teach what our family believes and why. I encourage them to dig deeper and see the flaws in the theory of evolution. But above all, I teach them to think for themselves! I also know that at home they will not be ridiculed or mocked for their faith. In addition we are able to mention our families values etc during everyday situations.
So those are the reasons I love homeschooling. We are still new, too, and still trying to find the right routines etc for us. Sometimes it is pure chaos in this house. Some days the dishes don't get done and some days we don't do a lick of work. Sometimes we need time away from each other before we strangle each other. I'm sure some Homeschool mom somewhere with the perfectly behaved color-coded children will hate me for saying this but Homeschooling is sometimes an ugly, messy business. With that being said though, I have no regrets about my decision to homeschool because some days it is the most wonderful, joyful, experience. And honestly, even the bad days are good!
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